Pottery was never a skill that I was able to work with when I studied Art. No matter how much I tried to mould the clay, smooth it or manipulate it, I could never achieve what I wanted. In the end I gave up and stuck to other art mediums that I managed to achieve more satisfaction. I always admired the different sculptures that I would stand in awe and marvel at when I visited the Galleries with a desire to improve my own artistic ability. I would look at the negative and positive space of Moore's "Helmet" and as I moved through the gallery the perfect sculpting of the human forms created by Bertram Mackennal using bronze left me awe. There was such beauty in all of these sculptures and everything captured perfectly.
The strange thing about art is that it aims to capture so many different things. It will capture the perfection of creation while reflecting its devastation. While one artist shows great accomplishment in replicating life in it's truest form, another artist shows great accomplishment by divulging the inner vulgarity of human frailty in abstract. Perfection in art cannot be defined as it is as boundless as the universe.
It is a mistake for us to try and achieve perfection. If we endeavour to achieve perfection we will only be met with continued disappointment and anxiety. I have often fallen for this perfection trap. I want to be the perfect human being. I want to be perfect as a wife, mother, friend, daughter and in my job. I want to be perfect in my cooking (hence why I rarely cook), perfect in my painting, perfect in my teaching, perfect in my housekeeping, perfect in anything I take on. It is perhaps for this reason of seeking perfection that I have really failed to master any areas of interest. The reason being that if I can't achieve perfection then why on earth should I try at all! Why put any effort into something that if I don't achieve perfection or anything less than perfection would be considered a failure on my part?
It has taken me many years to train myself out of this thinking. In fact it has taken cracks appearing in my life and the failure to prevent them for me to understand that these cracks are part of life, these cracks are necessary in life. An ancient Japanese Art form called Wabi Sabi acknowledged the beauty of imperfection. In fact such imperfections were desirable in pieces of ceramics. Wabi Sabi centres around the idea that things are incomplete, transient and imperfect. In this lies great beauty. That in what is broken, rotting, wearing or incomplete tells a stunning narrative. It tells a story of beauty and vulnerability. It is a true reflection of what life is. It shows that life is continually transient and moveable. Nothing in this world is withstanding. There is beauty in this. I truly believe that it is important that we embrace our brokenness. We need to acknowledge how time has weathered us and worn us. We need to be open that as we move through life we will make mistakes and that perfection is not a reality that can ever be achieved. In my brokenness I can now see that I have become a stronger person, I have become wiser, I have become more compassionate as my brokenness humbles me to see the brokenness in others and the need they have for understanding. I have had to become less critical of the world around me and more introspective.
As I approach Christmas I often hear conversations with others about their upcoming family events. We often joke about a day with relatives being draining, painful or exhausting. I hear stories from people about the one relative that they tolerate, or the relative they are trying to extend the hand of peace towards but are unsure of how others in the family may view it. We look at other people's families and wonder why can't my family be like that for Christmas? Instead of looking like a perfectly moulded bronze sculpture, our family is like a pile of clay that has been on the pottery wheel spun out of control. Our families are versions of Wabi Sabi and we need to be conscious that perfection does not exist in any family.
As much as I would like to say that I have achieved a higher state of being and am accepting of all things in acknowledgement of its perfect imperfections, I cannot and nor do I ask that anyone else do so. In fact part of our human imperfection is that our imperfections clash and can be volatile when put with another imperfection. This brings me to another Japanese art form called "kintsugi". Kintsugi is the art of filling in the cracks or remoulding or shaping part of a broken piece of pottery with gold or silver mixed with a resin. It does not hide the cracks or mask them, it completes the form; making it beautiful.
Many people will try and fill the cracks with their own understanding of gold and silver resin. However, for me there is only one thing that can fill my brokenness with gold and that is the love that I have received from God. There are times when I try to fill it with my little addictions. Things that help me to cope such as chocolate, coffee, shopping, escape through watching a television series or getting a massage. But these things only provide a temporary fix, it is a mediocre fix compared to what the gold resin does in Kintsugi. Only the love of God is perfect enough to bring perfection to the cracks. And it this love that I have received that then I can see the people in my life that God has placed around me that also helps to fill in those cracks and love me despite the imperfections.
