Matriarch

Absolute perfection. She is nothing less than perfection. She is the matriarch of our family. She does not command this title nor demand it. She is the matriarch because she embodies what it is to be a mother to all. We are stronger because of her, we are better people because of her and we are able to stand independently to face an ever changing world because of her.

Whenever we are in need she delivers abundant generosity. She gives of herself completely to her family, sacrificing herself to the needs of others. She never puts herself first and before she cares for herself she is fixedly looking after all around her. This has often been at the expense of her own needs and wants. Truly sacrificial to the needs of her children and grandchildren.

She has the ability to see the potential in everyone. Where others find fault, she sees the limitless capabilities that we have. She doesn't accept what is and works hard to make things better to ensure we are all on the path to achieve what we thought would never be possible.

Her grandchildren adore and love her beyond belief. They love her kindness to them, her caring nature. They are nurtured by her gentleness and unwavering love. They look forward to sleepovers, delighting in their favourite dinner that she especially cooks. They see her as a nurturer who cuddles them when they are sick, stroking their precious foreheads. They respect her rules and delight in her genuine love for them. They know that she will never push away a cuddle or resist being smothered in hugs and kisses. They love that she sits and talks to them as she tucks them in at night, knowing that any worry will be listened to and heard.

She is a woman who gives of herself to others. She is unselfish and loving. She seeks the goodness in all because she is goodness herself. She is the matriarch. She is Grandmother. She is mother in-law. She is mum.

The Fraud

"There is only one failure in life possible, and that is not to be true to the best one knows." George Eliot

The Fraud

Have you ever walked around feeling like you are the biggest fraud? Enveloped by fear, you continue to check over your shoulder. You analyse the looks of people around you. You question "do they know?" they must. How could you think that you could get away with pretending to be yourself? Is it even your true self? Or are you merely trying to copy something you will never become and the only person you are fooling is yourself. Everyone else knows that you are a fake. A fraud.

John Myatt had the amazing gift to copy any of the masters artworks. He was able to imitate the artworks of the greats; Chagall, Monet, Van Gogh to merely name a few. And in his infamy he has become famous as one of the biggest fraudulent artists of the 20th Century. So much is his fame that there is even a movie in the making to depict his life.

However, it was not uncommon for some of the greats to employ apprentices to finish painting their artworks. Rembrandt was notorious for having his apprentices paint the works that he then would become famous. There are many works that are no longer attributed to Rembrandt, but attributed to the "Rembrandt Workshop". Is this then Fraudulent considering the master over saw the work and guided the students in completing the vision of the art works?

Or do you walk around with the weight on your shoulders thinking that you will never cut it? Here you are living the life you are, and for some reason you still feel like a fake. I began feeling like this when I started running. I loved the feeling of beginning to achieve something in regards to such a sport. However, I would never have considered myself a runner. It took time for me to take on such a title, especially when I saw so many people run faster than  me on the bike track, they were running further than me on the Facebook page I joined, they looked like runners. All the time I felt like a zombie leaping slightly rather than slowly dragging one foot slowly behind the other. Eventually I got over this. I felt the encouragement of others, especially runners.

But then once again I felt like a fraud when I joined a running page and received some clothing that I could wear to show that I was a member. It took me three months to even brave wearing the head band. I felt like I would be called out. That I would be labelled a try hard. That people would laugh at the laughable sight of me even thinking that I could consider myself part of this group that women ran in. But once again I felt the encouragement of the group. That women who ran Ultra marathons acknowledged my smallest achievements was an immeasurable boost in my confidence.

I then joined a running program that involved logging your runs that would then have you virtually run the distance of the country. This was a fun activity the would continue to motivate me. With this I gained a complementary shirt that had the activity name on it. This time it took a shorter amount of time to wear it. I still felt like a fraud though. But I began to feel more comfortable with my achievements and the shirt began to frequent my running gear rotation.

The fraud inside is sometimes one of our biggest mental enemies. It tells us we are not good enough. The fraud tells us to stop trying. It likes to beat us down and lead us to believe that we are of no value to anyone or any group. How do you beat the fraud? First of all, none of us have been created to be frauds. We have all been created to be unique. No one is like us and no one will ever be like us. Therefore wear the banner of "you" with pride. When you try things that are out of your comfort zone, try it boldly. Don't allow the fraud to take part in your new ventures. When you look at someone else and you feel yourself envying them and wanting what they have, remember they too are feeling the same way and that there is someone else that they are looking at in the same way. The biggest thing that I learnt over my running journey... that I in no way am a fraud. I am continually finding Kate somewhere and this is a journey that is uniquely mine to have, enjoy, reflect on, change and control. It is my journey and in no way is it up to the fraud to sabotage.

Picture: John Myatt
http://www.johnmyatt.com accessed 21/2/2017