I recently took my children to see the Movie Inside Out. It must be said that when it comes to cartoons, Pixar/Disney writers really know what they are doing. They don't just produce movies that entertain and throw children through heroic main characters that fit the mould of successful or desirable. Don't get me wrong, I have a strong affection for Disney Princesses etc. However, my favourite movies are the ones that teach my children an abstract concept about reality that helps them to understand life that little bit more. I also love how it helps me to explain these abstract concepts a little more clearly to my children.
To be honest, after Winnie the Pooh (although based on a novel), Brother Bear, Toy Story trilogy, Up, Brave, A bugs Life... Inside Out is one of my favourite. It is perhaps up there with my favourite because of how it dissects the mind and explains the way in which cognitive theory works. Through my experience of different psychologists this is the therapy that I have found most helpful. It works on identifying the thought, then understanding the emotion that comes with the thought and that then determines a response. Inside Out explains this perfectly. We see the event happen, the characters move in quickly with their correct emotion as they direct the mind with an appropriate reaction.
However, Sadness seems to struggle to find her place within the beginning teenage years. Joy strains and bullies her way around the mind, trying to make sure that Joy is the dominant emotion. How often have we ourselves thought that happiness has to be the main emotion we feel and if it isn't then we are obviously an unsuccessful person. Joy tries to keep everything together. Sadness just keeps getting in the way. As Sadness and Joy come to conflict it all then falls apart.
It is later in the movie when Joy rewinds one of the memories that she realises that emotions do not need to exist in isolation of the other. That in fact, on many occasions Joy could only be experienced through the an event that needed Sadness. What a beautiful dichotomy. Hope often has deeper meaning when we feel despair. When we find ourselves in moments of Sadness or others in moments in sadness, our immediate reaction is to try and find joy rather than experiencing the special moment of sadness. Sadness allows us to be vulnerable, it allows us to show we care, that we hurt... that we are human. Sadness has a most perfect place in our minds and our lives as it is an emotion that we learn from, that we grow from and that we often appreciate and experience joy from. We shouldn't fear sadness or shy away from it. But embrace it and allow others to experience it with us.
My daughter had the opportunity to chose one of the characters from Inside Out to bring home as a plush toy. She straight away went to Joy, she was excited about Joy. I don't often like to interfere with my children's choices when they have been told that they can chose, however, I did want my four year old to consider her choice. I asked her to look at Sadness. She put Joy back on the shelf and looked at Sadness. She straight away grabbed Sadness and said "Sadness needs me more, she needs me to give her hugs".
I was proud that my daughter understood an appropriate way of dealing with Sadness. That Sadness wasn't to be isolated and pushed aside, that she was to be nurtured and given human empathy, sympathy and love. It is in moments of Sadness that we can find and appreciate moments of Joy. I was proud that my child chose Sadness, I was even prouder that for the whole day she did not let Sadness go and made sure that at all times Sadness was cared for. Sadness was cuddled, spoken to gently, introduced to everyone we met, and was tucked into bed to keep her warm.
From Sadness we can experience some of our greatest moments of Joy, and sometimes we need to acknowledge sadness in order to appreciate the moments of Joy.
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