Tsunami

It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.

Noel Coward

I stood this evening at my local beach watching the pattern of waves make way to shore. I stood expectantly as they came closer to the rocks and pool to see a spray of white wash being forced into the air, but it did not come. The waves for some reason died down as they approached the rocks, obviously the perpetual force dwindling.

I have lived on the coast all my life and I can never imagine leaving it. I can watch the waves crashing to shore for what would seem like a life time. I love looking at the tide lines gradually creep in and then gradually move out. I like observing the change in colour as the water reflects the weather and hides the deep. There is an uncertainty about the ocean and often it is referred to as unpredictable.

Growing up near the water and also as the daughter of an oceanographer/climatologist and being married to an environmental scientist has taught me a lot about the predictability of the ocean. The ocean works with predictability. I will not claim by any means to understand its complexity but for some reason there is so much about the ocean that offers me time for reflection amidst the turbulence of life.

This week was a turbulent week and it felt like the shoreline was not offered any respite or given any reprieve from the bombardment of waves. The outgoing current and sandbank did not seem to reduce the impact and I have come out the other end weathered and slightly eroded. By no means has my week suffered the natural disaster like many others I know. My storm was merely that; a continuation of repetitive swells that barrelled and white washed the fine grains of sand. This storm can be recovered from with little damage and minor impact. It is often thought that once eroded there is no repair, the damage is done. However, although the rough seas and high tides remove form the shoreline. The calm gentle even spilling breakers gradually restore it. Sand deposits move back in with calm water building the fringe where water meets land.

The tsunami however, changes the landscape forever. It leaves a path of devastation, everything  at the mercy of the sharp generated insurgence of water. It destroys. The havoc wrecked by this natural occurring event is not even fully realised or comprehended till weeks, months or even years later.  It requires the coming together of communities and countries to try and bring back some normality. Normality will never come. Everyone has to be willing to change to create a new normal, a new life, a new expectation of what the future will hold.

How can I tell if my week is merely a squall, a storm that will pass by the light of the new day? or if it is the devastating tsunami. I think we can definitely define devastating quite clearly in some instances: loss of a home, loss of a loved one, loss of a country, loss of a friendship, loss of a marriage, loss of a child, gaining of an illness. There are many more that I think could be added. However, I find it sometimes hard when it comes to anxiety the ability to determine what is the passing storm and what is the tsunami. For many events it can feel like a continual tsunami where no gathering of help has had the chance to occur and rebuild before being knocked down again with the wall of water. This is a hard thing with anxiety, the ability to rationalise the severity of events dwindles and everything can become a continual fall into the depths of the spinning whirlpool created by the tsunami.

Beware this trap. It is not one that can often be empathised with, nor is it one that many people around us can withstand for long. It has the appearance of selfishness, while none is intended. It seems like neediness, when just a friendly smile, hug or embrace was required. It came seem like ungratefulness when there is so much thanks even within the continual droning whinge that comes from the tongue. It is important and necessary that we continue to try and think "is what I am experiencing a mere storm that I will be able to withstand and recover from, or is it a tsunami, in which case more assistance is required, a community of support, more than just our closest friends. Although our closest friends and family are still a great necessity during these times. Regardless of situation we need to try and determine the difference in our life of a storm or a tsunami.